One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
Do you find bone puns humerus?
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
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