What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.
I hope in doesn't Matter.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
I spilled some acid on my aluminum fork and it dissolved…
but I didn’t mean to! It was an oxidant.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
What is the study of real estate? Homology
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant.
Its called Eel-on Musk.
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
Two kittens on a sloped roof.
Which one slides off first?
The one with the lowest mew.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
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