How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
The superconductor left without resistance.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?
Indepen-dance.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
Why couldn't the Bard seduce the Gelatinous Cube?
Because cubes are platonic solids.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
One blender turns to the one next to it and says "You're looking exceptionally good today!"
So the other replies, "You're such a smoothie talker"
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
I’m a hardcore believer in the “i before e except after c” rule
It’s science.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
When Napoleon died in the explosion, he was blown-apart-e.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
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