Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
What is the warmest period in the history of the world's climate called?
Climax.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
Go to BabaMail
