Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
I studied archeology
Now my life is in ruins.
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Why were Native Americans in America first?
They had reservations.
Why are environmentalists bad at playing cards? They like to avoid the flush.
What do you call a glass robot that is good at physics?
A new-clear physicist.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
Where do hippos go to university? Hippocampus.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Where do geologists like to relax? In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? They know really dirty jokes.
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
Go to BabaMail
