What do math and history have in common?
They both teach people about inequalities.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
Geology rocks but Geography is where it's at.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
What is the difference between archeology and grave robbing?
About 200 years
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Why couldn't the Bard seduce the Gelatinous Cube?
Because cubes are platonic solids.
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
I got a C in Physics and my parents grounded me.
They say I don't understand the gravity of the situation.
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
People hated Ho Chi Minh because he was Hanoi-ing.
When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."
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