England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant.
Its called Eel-on Musk.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
The superconductor left without resistance.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics...
But graphing is where I draw the line!
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe? Mitosis.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
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