What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
Napoleon may not have designed the coat he wore, but he did have a hand in it.
Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested?
He was released without charge.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
The local band stand was struck by lightening yesterday while the band was playing.
Only the conductor was hit.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.
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