What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
I really liked learning about displacement in Physics.
It's pretty straight to the point.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
Old Software Engineers Never Die...
They just reboot.
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
What do you call a detective from the Reformation?
Martin Sleuther.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
Where do geologists like to relax? In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? They know really dirty jokes.
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
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