Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
How do you know the moon is going broke?
It's down to its last quarter.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
So engineering school is really hard.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.
I hope in doesn't Matter.
Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
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