Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
My Gladiator DVD stopped working...
Talk about an *epic* fail.
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.
What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?
Indepen-dance.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
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