I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
How Many Engineers Does It Take to Assemble a Futon?
Three…and a psychologist!
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
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