Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.
We now call him Dr. Awkward.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion.
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.
Wanna hear the mountain joke?
nah you won't get over it
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
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