Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.
I hope in doesn't Matter.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?
She had power and time but didn't get the work done.
What did the nerdy duckling say ?
Quark Quark.
Geology rocks but Geography is where it's at.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
I studied archeology
Now my life is in ruins.
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
I wouldn't say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40. It was non-friction.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Why did Alexander not like eating chicken legs? Because he hated defeat.
What do you call a happy aviator?
A gladiator
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
I've been trying to think of an electrical pun but now my head Hertz.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Hey, have you heard about....
A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
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