How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What do math and history have in common?
They both teach people about inequalities.
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
Physics puns are no joke. It’s a relatively dark matter.
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
I was at the Doctor's office
The Pessimist said 'The door is half closed'
The Optimist said 'The door is half open'
The Doctor said 'Confirmed case of Bipolar'
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
Watson: Holmes, What kind of rock is this?
Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
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