Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!” The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber screams, “Don’t change the subject!"
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
What do you call a clock on the moon?
A lunartick.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
Some people think nuclear physics is interesting.
Well, in my opinion it's really Bohring.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Geology rocks but Geography is where it's at.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
Physics puns are no joke. It’s a relatively dark matter.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
Go to BabaMail
