What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
The local band stand was struck by lightening yesterday while the band was playing.
Only the conductor was hit.
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
Two sodium atoms are walking down the street. Suddenly one says “Oh, my God, I’ve lost an electron!” The other says “Lost an electron! Are you sure?” and the first replies “Yes, I’m positive!”
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.
I hope in doesn't Matter.
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
I really liked learning about displacement in Physics.
It's pretty straight to the point.
A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
When you offered me love, I lepton it!
What did the nerdy duckling say ?
Quark Quark.
Physics is like incest.
It’s all relative.
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?
Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!
When I was in school I got a B in biology, a C in chemistry.
And an F in Physics.
Physics student asks to go to bathroom.
Professor asks "Liquid, Solid or Gas?"
Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too.
May the mass times acceleration be with you.
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
I got a C in Physics and my parents grounded me.
They say I don't understand the gravity of the situation.
Speed and Velocity are brothers.
Velocity has a family, is rich and teaches classes around the world.
Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents.
They think Speed lacks Direction.
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
My physics teacher told me i had so much potential, so much energy.
Then I fell down the stairs and lost it all.
I've been trying to think of an electrical pun but now my head Hertz.
What do you call a glass robot that is good at physics?
A new-clear physicist.
Some people think nuclear physics is interesting.
Well, in my opinion it's really Bohring.
Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?
She had power and time but didn't get the work done.
We had a lively debate in physics.
It was a conversation of energy.
Physics puns are no joke. It’s a relatively dark matter.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
So engineering school is really hard.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade; when life gives you apples, make physics equations.
(Looking at you Newton).
I sit in front if my ex in physics.
There used to be a lot of friction between us.
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
My Physics teacher said I have no potential.
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested?
He was released without charge.
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