Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
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