What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.