Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
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