What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
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