We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
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