What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
Feeling fintastic.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
Beach you to it.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
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