I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
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