I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
Whale, hello there.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
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