Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Sea you at the beach.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Tis the sea-sun.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
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