Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
Shell yeah.
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