How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
I can sea clearly now.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Sea you at the beach.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
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