What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
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