Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.