What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
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