If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
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