What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
Witches are always wand-ering around…
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
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