Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
Go to BabaMail
