Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
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