What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
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