You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
I have a heart-on for you.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
You’re my heartthrob.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
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