What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
I have a heart-on for you.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.