What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
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