Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
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