Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces