What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
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