What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
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