Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.