What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.