How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
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