Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
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