What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.