Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
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