What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
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