What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
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