What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
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