What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
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