What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
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