What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
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