How do you know if a spine finds you funny?
It starts cracking up.
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
I need to stop being such a numbskull.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
The head surgeon shouted at me for accidentally severing the patient's spine.
I think I struck a nerve.
Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?
He wants tibia honest.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
While browsing the bookshop, I stuck a sheet of A4 paper to my wife's spine.
She said she wanted a paperback for her birthday.
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
I know a guy who had both arms amputated from elbow to shoulder.
He is always serious and never humerus.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
"Bone to be wild."
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Always think hard before you get married because on one hand you have a cool ring but on the other hand you don’t.
Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at my wife, "I'm not a complete idiot!" She smiled at me and purred, "I know honey."
"Some parts are missing."
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
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