Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
Son: What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?
Dad: Their effort goes in vein.
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.