You’re my heartthrob.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
"Dying to have fun."
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What do you call a man with no legs and no arms resting on a porch?
Matt.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
What’s a skeletons favorite wrestling event?
A rib cage match.
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
What do you call a group of arms?
An army.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?
Linoleum Blownapart.
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
It doesn’t help that my doctor keeps making fun of my broken leg. He’s just adding insult to injury.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
Really takes me back.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
I lost my memory after getting hit on the head by a boomerang.
It's all coming back to me now.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
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