What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
The sound of my bones really cracks me up.
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
Why did the skeleton go to the daycare?
To get his Kidneys.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
Bob.
I'm glad I have my 2nd Amendment right to bear arms.
Otherwise, I'd have been amputated at birth.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast.
"Bugs and hisses."
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
The guy who invented the watch must have had a lot of time on his hands
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at my wife, "I'm not a complete idiot!" She smiled at me and purred, "I know honey."
"Some parts are missing."
What do you call a skeleton's favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.
What is a red heads favorite drink?
Ginger Ale.
I banged my head on a low bridge.
Would have been ok if viaduct.
The Genie granted my wish for longer arms, but he warned me My wish would have far reaching consequences.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
I'll fight you with my bear hands.
Oh, deer.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?
That’s okay, he’s all-right now!
You’re my heartthrob.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Today, my arm got pinned between my wife's chest and the chair.
It was booby trapped.
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