What is a 2000 pound skeleton called
A skeleTon.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
Why didn’t one skeleton want to look at the other skeleton?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why are hands so reliable?
Because you can always count on them.
I had to give an impromptu speech on a piece of cloth that encircles the wrist...
I spoke off the cuff on the cuff.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
The head surgeon shouted at me for accidentally severing the patient's spine.
I think I struck a nerve.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
The guy who invented the watch must have had a lot of time on his hands
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
I boiled a funny bone once.
It turned into a laughing stock.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What do skeletons put in their photocopiers?
Skeletoner
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
I threw a fuzzy peach at my doctor's head and he said "that's not assault that's a sugar."
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
I banged my head on a low bridge.
Would have been ok if viaduct.
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
Really takes me back.
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
Why was the skeleton stupid?
He was a numskull.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
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