Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
"I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very
humerus."
"Bone to be wild."
Today, my arm got pinned between my wife's chest and the chair.
It was booby trapped.
"Lazy bones."
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast.
What is a 2000 pound skeleton called
A skeleTon.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?
That’s okay, he’s all-right now!
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...
I wonder if he was kilt.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at my wife, "I'm not a complete idiot!" She smiled at me and purred, "I know honey."
"Some parts are missing."
I think I'm getting curvature of the spine...
I haven't seen a doctor yet, it's just a hunch.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...
The hare vanished into thin hair.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
I’m directing a play about a boy who broke his arm.
You should see the cast.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What is a skeletons favorite meal?
Anything with Ribs.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
I find bone puns very
Humerus.
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?
He’s finding it hard to deal with.
The head surgeon shouted at me for accidentally severing the patient's spine.
I think I struck a nerve.
What's a skeletons favorite activity?
Boning.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
Go to BabaMail
