What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous!
So a man walked up to me and placed some soil, plant seeds and fertilizer on my head.
It was annoying at first, but I think it grew on me.
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
What is a 2000 pound skeleton called
A skeleTon.
"Let's have some skele-fun."
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
I went skiing with broken bones.
I can't afford real skis.
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
What did the police officer say to the hand?
Stop! You are under a wrist!
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
Why are hands so reliable?
Because you can always count on them.
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?
Linoleum Blownapart.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
I find bone puns very
Humerus.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
My daughter was just complaining about washing dishes by hand
I told her, “well... it’s better than washing them by foot.”
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...
The hare vanished into thin hair.
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
A fly fell down out of nowhere on my wrist
It died on my watch.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
I threw a fuzzy peach at my doctor's head and he said "that's not assault that's a sugar."
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every play needs a cast.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
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