What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Started reading a book called “The Pirate’s Wrist”
I’m hooked.
Why is a baby showing the top of its head during labor a significant event?
Because that’s the baby’s crowning achievement.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
I didn't think the doctor would fix the curve in my spine
But now I stand corrected.
My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel.
I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
My wife threw a block of cheddar at my head
I said "Well that's mature."
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?
Your spine.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
I bring my knees to my head and lean forwards.
That's just how I roll.
My mother's sister was a gamble who enjoyed poker. She would heartily add to the initial pot but fold after the first hand...
We called her Auntie Up.
Today, my arm got pinned between my wife's chest and the chair.
It was booby trapped.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
What do you call it when a pillow hits its head?
A concushion.
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
A quarterback.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
ScoliOAKsis.
What is a red heads favorite drink?
Ginger Ale.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Russle.
Sigmund Freud used to always wear a piece of jewelry on his wrist...
It was an id bracelet.
Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
How do you greet a skeleton in france?
"Bonejour."
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Why are bones so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
How do a group of skeletons drive to work?
In the carpal lane.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
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