My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
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