What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
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