Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.