Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
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