What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.