Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.