How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!