Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
Q: What does the tiger use to brush his mane?
A: A catacomb.
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
Q: Why do the tiger not attack the farm?
A: He was a little bit sheepish.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
Q: How does a tiger stop a video?
A: By pressing paws.
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
Did you hear about the incident at the tiger exhibit?
It was a big cat-astrophe
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
Stri-ped.
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
What happened when the tiger ate the comedian?
He felt funny!
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.