What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.